BODY IMAGE is very important to self-esteem. We look for flaws, we compare ourselves to attractive, air-brushed celebrities and that is a battle you can’t win.
“Honey, do you think she is more attractive than me?”
“I, uh, well, I guess, it depends.”
A better idea is: don’t ask, don’t tell. Or maybe, don’t seek perfection but TRY to be as healthy as possible. On the one hand, it’s damaging to drive yourself crazy over perceived or exaggerated physical imperfections. On the other hand, it’s also damaging to go the route of complete acceptance, like the Fat Acceptance Movement. You’re beautiful the way you are, except if you weigh 660 pounds and they have to remove a wall to get you out of the bedroom, not so much. Accepting the way you are at the moment, does not mean you can’t strive in a realistic way, to improve.
I think the philosophy of Frank Zappa can be applied to this issue of body image and self-esteem. Zappa asked the haunting question: “What’s the Ugliest Part of your Body?” And he has an unexpected answer. I made the video below with my version of the Zappa song.
If you HATE a HATER, then you’re a Hater too, right?
But WAIT- Didn’t Jesus throw the “money changers” out of the temple in an act of righteous indignation? Did he HATE them? Certainly, he loathed, detested and despised what they were doing.
Maybe some type of HATRED is justified. Like, say, if you hated CRUELTY or IDIOCY or Three-eyed ABOMINATIONS or BANKERS.
Let’s face it: HATE is an ugly word. You can be convicted of Hate Crimes. Most people, don’t want to think they are a hater. So lets make it more acceptable. Maybe a kinder phrase…
For the really annoying people and situations in life, like traffic lights, Rudi Giuliani and cold coffee, consider me a PASSIONATE DISLIKER.
THE REAL THING
We have been assured that Coke is the “real thing.” Also Jesus is the “real thing” and Hillary WAS the real thing but actually, come to think about it, whatever you really believe in [ or are promoting ] could be construed as the real thing. In my experience, this is a dangerous proposition because it simultaneously implies that all other participants in the domain – Pepsi, Mountain Dew, Buddhism, Ted Cruz – are merely pretenders to to the throne, wanna-be’s. Because the REAL THING, for Christ’s sake, is the precious fragment of pure gold lying in a sea of impure alloys. It is our self-appointed mission as human beings to find this thing and forsake all others. Like a soul mate or something.
Forget about it. You’ll be a lot happier.